Fatherhood issues

 

I feel a gust of cold wind and I move nervous in the bed, but it is the cough which makes me open my eyes. I am, as usual, on Kyle’s bed, in Kyle’s room, because I don’t give up and each night I sneak into when I have a chance. He seems resigned yet and he doesn’t make me go back to my room.

So when I open my eyes I already know he’s not by my side. I look to the window, and here I see his silhouette, against the faint light of the stars. For a moment I smile at the sight, but then I realize the cold in my own skin and get up to cover him with one of the blankets.

"Come back to bed, you stupid”, I say to him. “You're going to catch a cold. Do you think I didn't hear you coughing?"

Kyle shifts a bit, surprised: “I thought you were still asleep'', he sighs. Then he mumbles, looking again through the window: “Well, seems like I can’t lie to you”. He holds my waist, pulls me closer to him, and kisses my lips while stroking my hair.

I smile even if I feel sad: "Of course you can't lie to me!". I kiss him back, biting his lower lip, and I tremble because of the cold and the emotion. "Can't we go back to the bed? It is warmer than this cold window".

As if he had not felt it before, Kyle closes the window when he realizes I tremble. Then he takes me like a baby to carry me to the bed, where he kisses me softly and rubs his forehead with mine. I feel now warm and happy, and I kiss him back and curl as close to him as I can, before a yawn spoils all the charm. I hug him tight and close my eyes. I still feel him kissing my forehead and stroking my hair before covering ourselves and hugging me back. That’s all I need in my life, I think. I take a resolution and I purr, and Kyle seems to like it, because he hugs me tighter. I fall asleep.

The following morning the first thing I do is going downstairs and cancelling the reservation for my room. My purse sighs relieved and I climb up the stairs smiling like a teenager to take the spare things I have (my summer armour and clothes, my sewing tools, and all the bits of things I have got in our latest adventures) and move all of them to Kyle's room. He looks at me when I enter with a bunch of old Orlesian uniforms in my arms and rolls his eye, but he says nothing. I smile at him and wink. He finally gives up and takes the old clothes from my arms. “All right, you win… Let me help you”.

Together we put my things into one of the trunks of the room, and then I jump on the bed, arms wide open and a big big smile, while I whisper. “Home, sweet home!”

“Don’t jump on the bed like that, my love”, Kyle teases me while arranging everything in neat. “You’re going to break it”.

I am too happy to feel bothered, so I show him my tongue and reply: "I can imagine better ways to break the bed"

He fakes astonishment. “Better ways to break the bed?”, he asks, while turning towards me. “You’re not thinking about taking an axe to chop it, are you?”. But he knows what I’m talking about, and he seems a bit embarrassed. I can’t help it, I get up, reach his hands and pull him over the bed with me, smiling wickedly.

“Do I have to show you?”

“Show what? How to chop the bed with an axe, huh?”, he mumbles while falling by my side.

I roll over him to say: "Do I have to explain everything?”, and end the line with a short kiss.

He kisses me back, and stops only to ask: "Explain...”. I giggle, and get up to start taking off his shirt.

"I better give you a practical example...", I add. And I start kissing his chest, with short, small pecks. He gets a bit nervous.

“Hey, hey, wait, what do you mean?”, he starts. “It’s too soon in the morning. They’re waiting for us to have breakfast”. And I feel how he’s trying to avoid something he also desires.

So I smile and continue kissing and licking: “I'm having breakfast right now, thanks!”

“Mari....no.... How can you think you have breakfast now?”, he pants, holding my hands. As if I needed them.

I laugh: "Because I'm eating you!", and I struggle to release my hands while kissing his neck and his jaw line.

“I'm not food”, he protests. “Come on, you must be too hungry to imagine that. Or”, he adds, releasing my hands with a wicked smile, "maybe all the cider you drink has a bad effect on you."

“Aww, but you're my favourite dish”, I reply, a bit upset.  “Don't be a spoilsport!”, and since now I’m free to move, I go down to his abdomen to blow on his belly button to make a funny noise.

He laughs. "Stop...! You make me tickle"

“That's what I wanted!”, I giggle, happy at his reaction, and I continue blowing and making trumpet sounds over his belly.

Kyle takes my head between his hands gently to stop my blows, and reaches down to kiss my lips. "If you continue like this”, he says with an evil smile, “maybe I will change my mind about sharing a room."

I pout at first, taken by surprise, but then an evil image comes to my mind which makes me smile too and reply: "And you will leave me sleeping outside, alone, without a room to stay now that I've cancelled mine?". I accompany the line with my best puppy eyes and a kiss back. And I get the effect I expected.

"You're too cruel Mari”, he says. “How can I let you sleep outside?". He rolls over me, and starts kissing my face again. "So... now can we just go to have breakfast?"

I giggle and rub my forehead with his: “You're too hungry, my love. Okay, let's go downstairs. We'll have time to break the bed later”.

I watch him while he puts his shirt back on, and I bet he’s trying to find another way to avoid the breaking the bed issue, which I find terribly funny I don’t know why. Then we go downstairs to have breakfast. At the sight of bacon, boiled eggs, sausage, baked beans, bread, butter and honey I soon forget everything else... for now.

While devouring my own breakfast, I watch him eating his bacon, eggs in omelette and bread, while drinking a big sip of vintage wine. I note down to remind him that glass of wine in breakfast the next time he says I drink too much cider, but he sees me watching and as if he could read my mind he shrugs: “What? Just a glass for breakfast. But no more, don’t stare at me like that”.

“At least I don’t drink cider for breakfast”, I scowl.

“I just care about what is good for you, my love.”

And he continues chewing, lost in his thoughts. Finally my curiosity wins, and between two forks of sausage I ask him: "Why so thoughtful, my love? A copper for your thoughts!"

He just raises his head and looks at me, trying to work out what to say. I decide to help him.

“Worried about what we’re going to find in Orlais?”

“You don’t need to spend a copper to know my thoughts, do you?”

“We’ll find her. You know it.”

He leans over the table and kisses me softly. “I’m lucky to have you”.

I melt, but my pride wants to know more. “Do you? Why?”

He speaks softly, with a warm smile: “You’re beautiful… funny… people love you and follow you even to the Fade…”

I shake my head. “Nobody follows me, Kyle… I’m not a leader, I’ve always been a loner. My sister and me… and when she was gone… only me… And besides… I follow you. So if anyone is the leader, that’s you”

He smiles sadly. “But I am a loner too…”

I giggle. “Do you? What a couple we are! No doubt we were meant to be lonely together!”

He scratches his head, as if he were going to say something very difficult. Finally he makes his mind and shoots.

“You know… when I first met you… I never thought we would end together”…

I smile. “Me neither. I was too obsessed about Mihitu to notice anyone else”. I put my chin over my hand and I look at the window. “And even so, when I look back, and remember our conversations… I think I sort of liked you from the beginning”.

“How can it be?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Fate, maybe? Did you like anyone else?”

He smiles sadly. “The small mage. Angelina…”

I open my eyes wide. It’s true. When I came back to the inn, after my illness, he used to hang around with the two Orlesian mages, Antoine and Angelina. But I never cared. Why should I? He was just one more of the inn customers. We talked a bit, he was nice to me, but nothing else. He had his own friends.

“But now she can’t feel anything”, he adds sadly. “She’s a tranquil”.

“And she had a lover, didn’t she?. That elf…”

He nods. “Antoine always teased Angelina calling her boy”.

I try to imagine them together. My big tall, dark-haired warrior, with the tiny, blonde, elven-like Angelina. Soon one fast thought comes to my mind. “You would have protected her. You wouldn’t have allowed her to become a tranquil”.

I feel sad for her. He was already by my side when she went away, and never came back. I heard the news through Dakiara. “I could have gone with them…", he says sadly, "but I didn’t want to…. If I only knew...”

“I didn’t know you had a chance… See? I was right. You had more friends than me at the tavern those days. I was alone when my sister left me”.

“But some people cared for you…”

I shake my head. “No. You were the only one”. Suddenly I feel more interested on the contents of my plate than in the conversation. This is getting uncomfortable. Then I feel his hand touching my cheek, lovingly.

“Maybe I felt the same towards you and your sister”, he says sweetly. I feel grateful for his touch, so I take his hand with mine and kiss his fingers. He’s got a warrior’s hand, big and rough, but I love how it feels against my skin.

“That’s why I jumped over you”, I admit.

“Jump?”

“Yes… when I made the first move”

He chuckles.

“What?”, I say, looking back at him but without releasing his hand. “You were the only one nice to me in this bloody tavern”.

“What about the others?”

“Which others?”

“Jyrd?”

I reach the rune I have hanging from my neck since Jyrd found me crying over Paws fur.

“He only gave me a rune…Not that I’m not grateful… I always thought it changed my life… but he just hangs around being nice to everybody… I don’t think he considered me anything special”. I smirk, recalling that night. “The only one nice to me was Paws… and I don’t think Mihitu would have allowed me to steal him”.

He laughs. “Seems it was destiny”.

“You bet”, I smile, kissing his hand again. “Nothing planned, but it happened. It was meant to be”.

“I just couldn’t resist your willpower”, he adds, still laughing. It makes me feel there’s something wrong. Didn’t he love me when I kissed him?

“But I made that move because I thought you loved me!”, I can’t avoid to say. “I mean… I realized I loved you when I saw how much you cared for me… and how good I felt by your side…”

He opens his eye wide.

“Was I wrong?”, I ask, feeling terribly embarrassed. He smiles warmly.

“About love, that first day? Yes, you were. Friendship became love. But it was a good move”.

I put my hand on my face, both of embarrassment and amusement. “Oh, no… Poor Kyle”

“Poor me? Why?”

“I’m such a manipulator”, I giggle. “Forcing you into falling in love with me”.

“Ah, that’s because I’m such an idiot”.

“My sweet idiot”, I say, leaning over the table to kiss his lips. It seems all right. Maybe I rushed everything, but I’m sure of his feelings now. “I still think I am lucky. You could have just said “I’m sorry, milady… you’re wrong. I can’t leave the tavern with you”. But you did”.

“Because you scared me about that job in Denerim”, he says, with a concerned look. “You know, the one in the Pearl”.

I smile. “So you cared”. Maybe I wasn’t that wrong after all. “Only as a friend?”, I add, just in case.

“Ah… a bit further than that… Though I’d been scared if any friend had said that to me too”.

“And I scared you even more with my kiss”. I’m enjoying this conversation.

“Ah. That’s the point. I’d have gone with you anyway…”

“So you agreed just to avoid the crazy redhaired elf kissing you again. Keeping the distances, while taking care of me?... Unless you liked it…”, I dare to add.

“Ah, no”, he chuckles.

“You didn’t like it?”, I ask, surprised. Well he doesn’t seem to dislike my kisses nowadays.

“Eer… not like you think… In that time … I felt more like a father figure towards you…”

I open my mouth while I feel all my blood coming to my cheeks. “What?”

“You look cute when you blush”. Oh, great. Strike back with what I used to say to you.

“But but but…”… For once, I don’t know what to say. He smirks.

“I didn’t know these could get such a deep shade or red”, he teases me, touching one of my ears. Doesn’t he feel it is embarrassing? Because I’m dying out of embarrassment right now. And anger, the more I think about it. Come on, Mihitu never paid me any attention because he thought I was too young too.

“Why does everybody think of me as a child? I’m a full grown adult!!”, I protest.

“Ah, you’ve already shown that to me”, he laughs. “So don’t worry about that”.

“But everybody considers me their small sister or their daughter!!! It’s so… so… frustrating!”

“Well, I don’t know the others… But for me… It is that you have almost her age…”

“Her age? Whose age? Adrienne? But… you didn’t consider her a daughter, but a sister”.

“Ah, not Adrienne. We grew up together, I couldn’t feel like a father for her. It’s Tahl”

“Who’s Tahl?”

“Never told you about her? I think I did. She’s an elven girl I rescued from slavers years ago…”

“Story time?”, I smile, feeling a bit relieved. I rest my face on my hands and I look at him. “Anything to change the subject. I’m all ears". And I shake them to emphasize my words. It makes him giggle and I love it.

“Ah, it was nine years ago… Yes, I think so”, he recalls. “I saw those slavers, with their sad cargo… One of them challenged me to stay and watch… and then I saw how they brought her there… dragging her by her hair, because she didn’t want to climb up the stage…”

“Quite a temper, uh?”, I smile. I’d surely have done the same. Slavery is something that definitely creeps me out. It’s supposed to be illegal here in Ferelden, but some countries still practice it… and they don’t hesitate to come here to fetch their… goodies.

“Yes”, he smiles. “She was very young, ten years old more or less… Blond, short hair… a bit like Lauren’s, but straight, and a bit longer. They picked up her by the hair, and I saw her eyes were big and grey. She spit and swore, proud little thing…”

“And you couldn’t resist”, I continue for him. “You released her”.

“Ah, yes. She wasn't sold that afternoon, luckily. And of course I had not the money to purchase any of them myself... I had had it hard to make some basic purchases on the marketplace that morning. So that night I decided to have a look at the slavists camp and see what could I do. But she was faster. When I was arriving, she almost ran over me, and she didn’t believe me when I said I had arrived to help her".

“She didn’t trust shems”, I guess. He nods. So different from me, I think. I have been luckier with shems than with elves. I guess that says a lot about my relationship with Kyle.

“I understood her quite well, so finally she believed me. I explained her I didn’t have a lot of money, so I gave her a small, cheap necklace I had just bought, and I had to break the chain to make it fit her. I tried to offer her to live in the Alienage, but before I finished the line, she asked to come with me… and I couldn’t say no… Specially when all the previous bravery abandoned her, and she started to cry like the child she was, calling for her mom... and finally accepting me as her new dad”.

“And what did you do? With a ten years old child, and probably with the slavists after you both… I guess you couldn’t go far… That’s why you stopped searching for Lirya?”

“Ah, yes. We settled down in Antiva for a couple of years, then we returned, but I could devote a much time as I did to search for Lirya, not while taking care and training Tahl”.

“What happened to her?”, I ask, a bit worried. Look at him, nobody would say he’s been surrounded by women all his life. “We don’t have to rush and rescue her from somewhere, do we? So she can attend our wedding and all that”.

He chuckles. “No. She just went her own way when she was seventeen. Adventuring”.

“Seventeen”, I scowl. “And now she would be…”

“Nineteen”.

“So that’s why you felt like a father towards me? I reminded you of her?”.

He ignores my last remark. “I headed to The Merry Mabari, after she departed. And we still are in touch. Sort of. By letter”.

“Oh. Then I’ll add her to the list of guests”, I mumble. “But no way as your daughter!”

He laughs, even if I was deadly serious. Suddenly a cough attack stops his laughter. He covers his mouth with a handkerchief and tries to hide it swiftly, but I already know it, because I saw it in the broken flute, and I can’t help to have a glimpse of red before he puts it again in his pocket.

He’s coughing blood again.

BONUS:
Tahl Story:


During the long time Kyle was searching for his mother, when he was 20, he met a band of slavists who were trying to sell a young elven girl, called Tahl. Here's the story of how Kyle met them, and the first time he saw her.

1. Kyle arrives to maybe a small village Or in the middle of nowhere where a (slaves) black market is being hold.

2. Kyle realices what is being sold here. He disapproves.

3. The slavists drag one of their slaves by the hair. Do they need a reason to do that? Naaah, they're the bad guys.

4. Knight in shining armor to the rescue! (pffft, sonia ) Of course Kyle can't allow them to do that.

5. And he won't let them say dirty words either . Now he's determined.

I separate this sketches into 2 parts

I will upload it soon. Because this is old comics i did. The offically I send to my friend, and welll, this is re-sketches this comics, It's have 20 pages I'm tooo lazyyy to re sketches 20 page agains.


 

 1. The following night, Kyle approaches the slavists camp decided to rescue the girl. But the girl has no intention to wait and rescues herself.
Kyle tries to explain he's not going to harm her, but of course, she would never trust a shem would she?

2. Kyle offers the girl to go to live... (his mean is alienage or with his friends elves or whatever good for Tahl) "With you?" she interrumpts. Puppy elven eyes are irresistible. Kyle fails. (Kyle stupid face )

3. "Ok, you can come with me, but I don't have much money. Here, take this". "For me?" (the meaning of the necklace: be strong, even if fate treat you so bad, there still hope)

4. "You're the first shem who has ever been nice to me!" "Ea, ea, don't cry" "Are you going to be my papa?" "eeer... +_^U... we better go away before they discover you've ran away, ok?"

And after that he settled down in Antivan 2 years with Tahl. But the story later is unknown. But now Tahl is grown up and she make her own adventure before Kyle approach TMM 1 year.

Will have the rest but not at all, as soon as I have free time.

Kyle and Tahl (c) me